Death is such a funny thing really. Everybodys so afraid of it when actually, it isnt all that bad. I mean theres that initial The hell Mister Echolls! I was trying to help your career. Statutory rape is so in. But then it just ends with At least thats over. Because seriously? Life can be so lame.
I have to say though, severe head wound is definitely the way to go. Its quick, easy, and you get killer crime scene photos. Blood and gore can be really fetch, but not many can pull it off. Im just saying, if your head is too round, youll totally look like a rotten Jack-o-lantern or something.
So anyway, yeah, Im a ghost, oooOOOoooOO. Im sorry theres just so much haunting you can do. Between my thick headed brother and fashionably challenged best friend, it takes out a lot of energy! Whoever said you can sleep when youre dead seriously was never dead, or else duh, he would have known that your spirit is plagued to roam eternity. Well maybe, I really havent gotten the hang of this whole dead thing. Rules are so irritating to learn.
Not that I really know where I am. I mean, if this is heaven, they are letting anyone in. Because although Im completely lovable, I am certainly no angel, at least thats what my personal masseuse always told me. Spanish men are so hot.
So are Greek.
Italian.
French mmm
Russian.
Hmm and Roberto, I think he was Portuguese or something.
Oh and Canadian men? Definitely hot.
It almost makes me feel bad for Logan, because he was so sweet, and his dads personal assistant always reminded him to have someone buy me the best gifts with his dads money. But the poor thing just had no idea of his way around the bedroom. It was sort of cute at first, that awkward boyish charm thing, but why have boys when you can have men. The Peoples Choice Actor Aaron Echolls. Now thats what I call a man.
But it doesnt matter, Logans all head over heels for Veronica now and Aaron is well lets say sleeping with a minor will be the least of his troubles. It almost sucks that Im dead, because this stuff is way too good to be true.
How great could it be if me, Veronica and Logan could have a love triangle? I would be like Joey because she was always the center of attention, Logan could be that guy who didnt have a huge forehead, and Veronica could be that girl that nobody cared about after the first season. How awesome would that be? I would be all, Logan choose me. And then well then it would be sort of boring. I guess Duncan can have them, hes so into dull romantic squabbles.
Like the time he thought little Ronnie Mars was our sister. Come on Duncan, shes like three feet tall, dad would have had to mate with a mouse or something, and thats just gross. Although I wouldnt have minded having a little sister. Veronica would have been the coolest little sister ever! Especially all Sydney Bristow Veronica with her cool spy tools that I could use to force mother into rehab. Too bad that didnt work out.
And poor Veronica was so upset too. I remember my mom was such a bitch the day she made Duncan break up with her, not that she wasnt a bitch everyday, it was just finally a day that she wasnt being a bitch to me. But they were so hush-hush about it. Taking Duncan into a room yelling a little and then he came out and totally spewed everywhere.
I mean if I had found out that Logan or Eli or Aaron or Roberto or Peter or any of my lovahs were related to me, Id totally react the same way, but him and Veronica were way too innocent to be that gross. They were in love or something and so eye roll worthy.
If I want something cute Ill buy a kitten or something, not get all shmoopy.
But honestly, if youre a Kane, youre either golden or a royal bitch, and lucky for Veronica she was never either. My brother and my father were perfect, my mother in need of severe medication, and me? Well I wasnt really all that nice of a person.
So I took advantage of peoples weaknesses, who doesnt? Like that Macky Italian guy said, You can only rule through fear. Well, I think thats what he said. I never really cared much for history or math or any other class throughout the day.
Oh wait except for Mr. Rooks. Maybe history wasnt so bad after all.
But this is beside the point, because I, Lilly Kane, was about to admit I may have not been perfect. Shocker, I know. So I cheated on Logan, so what? I only dated him because his father was a movie star. I did him a favor by associating with him! Me the sexy older woman and him the dorky little junior high kid it was an embarrassing display for any child of wealth! And you know, maybe I kind of sort of loved him sometimes. But life is short, obviously, and I couldnt be tied to him forever. He was so sweet though.
Sometimes I wish I wasnt so crappy to him though, then he wouldnt be so hung up on me for no reason. I mean I knew hed fall for me, but not that hard. The poor boy could be getting so much ass thanks to me and does he ever take advantage of it? No! He just took girls upstairs and talked about how hard it was losing me and didnt even let them give him pity sex! Of course like any guy he made sure all his friends thought otherwise. Faux-slut. The attention is nice though.
At least Veronica is adopting my booty call ways. You go girl with your bathroom antics! Again, spy sister? It would have been awesome! And now shes got the 09ers and the bikers and pretty much all the other guys at our school totally wrapped around her finger. Veronica Mars 2.0 and I would have had a killer time.
As long as she keeps her sweet little hands off Eli, thats all Im saying. Not that Im laying claims on him, which I totally am. He was just so deep, you know? He was romantic and original, and totally would have pissed off my mom if I had told her. It was just hello, Im Lilly Kane. I date rich boy 09ers, I date Logan Echolls. But I love Eli Navarro. Im not serious though. Ha, dispense personal information? Youd have to kill me first. Oh Mister Echolls Im talking to you!
Ah, at least hes finally been brought to justice, and my murder has been avenged. Having a soul go to rest is so relaxing. Sigh, maybe Ill hang by the pool or something in my killer pink bikini. Ive had a lot of time for that pilates so I look rocking.
Until then, Ill be upstairs or somewhere.
















